What Your Outfit Might Be Saying Behind Your Back.

#13 issue of LifeHighlights...

Hi friends,

You’ve probably heard that phrase, “Dress the way you want to be addressed.” It sounds cliché, right? But oh man—recently, I found out just how true it is. And not in a corporate boardroom or anything fancy like that. It happened on a bumpy rickshaw ride in the middle of town.

So, here’s what happened.

A few days ago, I was heading to a meeting, and I’d decided to go all in on the “look sharp, feel sharp” idea. I had my shirt tucked in, shoes polished, and yes—rocking a proper necktie. I even glanced at myself in a window reflection and thought, “Okay Thamu, looking respectable today!” You know that little boost of confidence you get when your outfit is just in its place? Yeah, that was me.

Anyway, I jumped onto this rickshaw—it was packed as usual. I managed to get a seat, and just a few stops later, a lady boarded. Naturally, I stood up and offered her my seat (because, you know, manners). But before she could even sit, this random guy next to me said, “No, no, let me give her mine. From your dressing, you don’t have to sit there.”

I was caught off guard. Like… wait, what just happened? I smiled awkwardly, not even sure how to respond. I mean, it wasn’t an insult. In fact, it was quite the opposite. That one comment made me realize how much my appearance had spoken for me—without me saying a single word. In his eyes, I looked like someone who shouldn’t be fighting for seats in a crowded public transport. That hit me. Not in a prideful way, but more in a “woah, people really do make judgments based on what they see” kind of way.

I remember sitting comfortably (well, uncomfortably now!) and just soaking in that moment. I felt this weird mix of surprise, pride, and a little self-worth boost. Like, I hadn’t done anything extraordinary, but just by dressing with intention, I was being perceived differently—more respectfully, even.

Since that day, I’ve thought a lot about how we present ourselves to the world. I used to think dressing well was mostly for special events—weddings, interviews, and all that. But now, I’m beginning to think every day has its own dress code. Not to impress people or pretend to be someone we are not—but to align how we feel on the inside with how we show up on the outside.

Now I find myself saying, “Okay, do I have clothes for that kind of moment?” Like, if someone invited me to a high-profile meeting today, would I have something decent to wear? If I needed to dash to the gym, do I have comfortable (but not sloppy) gear? If I suddenly got invited to a wedding or a church event, would I be ready? It's not about having a walk-in closet full of options, but more about being prepared to show up well—wherever life takes me.

Here’s the thing. We all want to be seen, respected, acknowledged. And whether we accept it or not, people often size us up before we even speak. That’s not necessarily shallow—it’s just human nature. And if a small thing like dressing with intention can open up opportunities or change how people treat us…why not take advantage of that?

Of course, it doesn’t mean your worth is tied to your clothes. But your clothes can be a mirror of how you see yourself—and an invitation for others to see you the same way.

So, here’s a little question for you this week: What’s your version of “dressing like a Roman in Rome”? Have you ever noticed a moment when how you dressed changed how people treated you—or even how you felt about yourself?

I’d love to hear your story. and here is a quote for us all!

You can have anything you want in life if you dress for it.

~ Edith Head

⸻

Living the LifeHighlights,
Thamu Allan